Monday, March 11

What I Wore // 8 Ways To Be Happier Right Now

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hat  ||  coat  ||  shirt  ||  jeans  ||  booties (out of stock, but I found similar loves here, here, and here)

        Tonight I felt like I needed to write a bit about being happy and positive, even when life is extremely difficult. One recurring theme in questions from you guys is how I'm so positive all of the time and how can I help you to be. Before I get started with a few tips, I want to stress as strongly as I can is that I am not positive all of the time. I have always prided myself on my ability to spin any negative situation into something I can learn from or use to better myself, but I am currently (and have been for some time now) fighting against severe anxiety, panic, depression, and other strong mental blocks that make constant happiness impossible. (edited to add that I developed these issues after my husband was given a few months to live, and since then I have recognized that I needed help navigating my trauma, sought professional help, started receiving proper treatment, and am currently doing pretty darn awesome:)) 
        I don't believe that positivity is something that comes naturally to anyone, especially not in the world we live in today with social media constantly telling us that we're not good enough. I believe that the default attitude for all of us, in general, is to constantly see the things in ourselves and around us that need fixing or changing, to see the broken things, the struggles, the pain, and the setbacks. Seeing the bright-side is something that you have to work at constantly.

     So, here are a few ways to be happier right now:

       #1: Spend as little time as possible in the past. Don't dwell on situations that happened years or months or even weeks ago unless it is positively beneficial in some way. It's easy sometimes to look back on our mistakes and forget all of our victories, and the past can easily put us in a big funk. Someone once said something along the lines of ‘No amount of time spent dwelling on the past can change the past, and no amount of anxiety for the future will change the future’, or something like that.haha It’s true though. Put your efforts into TODAY.

       #2: Nurture your relations with those friends and family who truly support you. Those people who give encouragement and love (and accept it from you), and who leave you feeling better about yourself and your potential and about the world around you. They are your tribe, and there's no reason to waste time or valuable energy on people who hurt you or make you feel crappy, or who have ever selfishly and purposely brought you to a dark place. Life is too short to spend your efforts trying to ‘help’ negative people be more positive. That’s not on you. Move forward.

       #3: Along with #2, getting rid of all unnecessary negativity will instantly increase your happiness and peace of mind. If you have control over it, lose it. Unfollow pages and people who complain constantly or pull others down. Anyone who is focused on the negativity around them or go out of their way to find it in the world will never uplift or inspire you to be happy. Spending your precious time around them will only bring negativity to your life. Even if it's not directed at you it can have a huge effect on your mood, and consistently being exposed to that can have lasting effects.

       #4: If you feel the urge to have a good cry, find a quiet spot and make it happen. It'll work wonders. Pushing emotions away will not make them disappear, it’s only putting off the inevitable. I know from experience that letting yourself sit with your emotions and try to learn from them is healthy and necessary. Yes it’s hard and vulnerable and scary, and yes it can hurt like hell, but I promise it’s for the best.

       #5: The person who is probably putting the most pressure on you is yourself. We are our own worst critics, and you’re always doing at least a little better than you think you are. So take a deep breath and give yourself some credit for being where you are, accomplishing what you have, and think about how far you've already come.

       #6: Don't let social media and the internet get in your head too much, it's a beautiful world full of filters and clean corners, and there's no possible way that anyone can share their entire life online, so if they have to pick and choose doesn't it make sense that most of social media are the highlights of people's lives? That means that you miss out on most of the normal messy stuff, and it's so so easy for our brains to believe that those things don't exist to them at all. I promise, they absolutely do. Never compare your story to someone else's page 82.

       #7: Create something or exercise a talent that you've left dormant for a while. It's a lot easier for us to gain a little more self-love and to feel happier when we see that we do have skills and can hold something concrete to be proud of. I believe that Mother’s especially cannot expect to feel fulfilled every single day from motherhood. Being a parent is mostly thankless and monotonous, constantly doing the same chores over and over again, and it can be difficult on the tough days to feel like you have anything to show for all your efforts. Don’t give up, go pluck at the piano keys a bit or pull out your brushes, etc, it’ll do wonders.

       #8: Get on the floor and start stretching. Nothing has helped me find stillness and calm as much as starting yoga has, and I recommend it to anyone and everyone as the greatest physical act of self-love and self-care that I know of. I am not very good at it, and because I took too long of a break I can’t even touch my toes right now when I lean over, which is why I say just to ‘stretch’, instead of telling you to take a yoga class. Don’t wait till you’re wearing the right clothes or till you have the right equipment, just look up a simple yoga flow or sequence on Pinterest and do it in your jeans on the rug for all I Just watch your posture, take slow and deep breaths (stretch on the exhale) and don’t push yourself into any position that causes pain. It’s amazing.

        Well, I want to keep going with these, but I need to run and help Ellie with a posterboard project for school tomorrow and the timer is beeping that the bread is done.haha If you enjoyed these tips though or found them useful and would like a ‘part 2’ of this post, let me know! Also please share any additional thoughts or tips of your own in the comments for the rest of us to benefit from:)

          Take care gang,


  1. Yes I'd love to read a part 2 post! This is EXACTLY what has been filling the majority of my thoughts lately. So helpful.

  2. I love the idea of spending as little time as possible in the past. This is SUCH good advice! I know I am guilty of dwelling on what has been...and I'm working on not doing that. Thank you for the reminder!