Tuesday, April 10

Open heart moment:

     Yesterday was hard, today was hard, tomorrow will be harder. I’ve felt especially stuck lately in the messy space between peace and turmoil, joy and heartache, and because I can’t make sense of my jumbled thoughts most of the time I just don’t share. I’m constantly trying to change that though, and to open up during more of the hard moments along with the sweet moments. 

     Tomorrow will be 9 years since my late husband Martin and I were married, and also 1 year and 10 months since his death. 3 years since my grief process began. Every day I feel happiness from all the beauty and blessings in my life, and every day I also feel broken inside from the trauma of losing him the way I did.  

     This is Ashley, Jenna, and Hailey. These three warrior ladies are just a few who know much of how that feels. We’re great friends, we’re all mothers, and we’re all widows. We’ve all lost our sweethearts, we’ve all held our children beside our husbands casket, and we’re trying our best to move forward every day and find joy. We’ve learned the hard way to not take a single moment for granted or wait for the sweeter things in life but to soak it all in, every moment or every day.

     A couple months ago (When I was still pregnant with Alice:)) we were able to get together and stay up way too late eating pizza and laughing and crying together. It is comforting to know people who have been to a similar dark and twisty place as me, but it’s also so important to know that we’re all (you included) tied together by the pain of our worst experiences. We might not have all had the same successes, but experiencing such immense heartbreak in any sense ties us all together in empathy and compassion for others’ pain. 

     I have the huge honor of speaking again at the A Reason To Stand conference, this time in Las Vegas and I would love to meet you there! You can see all the info HERE, but It’ll be on the 28th of this month and you can use my code: FOX for $25 off your ticket! I love connecting with so many of you and hearing your stories at these conferences, and I hope you can make it. ♡♡


1 comment:

  1. You are entitled to ALL those feelings, and I admire your openness about feeling all the feels. I so wish I could listen to you speak in Nevada! You are a warrior!