Thursday, March 16

Accident update and healing progress

      Hey loves:) I'm starting this as I wait for Richard while he's in surgery (3/14), though I hope we'll be back home and comfy when I hit the publish button. It's been a really different and interesting week and a half, to say the least! This post has felt like a long time coming, but it was really important to step back and take a well-deserved rest/recoup as a family, to ignore all the background noise, and try to figure out how our daily schedules were going to work now that he and I are on the mend. I'm happy to say though that my knee is really doing well, and after the Macy's charity event last weekend (I'll share about that neat experience in a later post as well:)), it kinda forced me to buck up a bit, so it feels good to have my laptop back in hand and to be able to answer some questions and such. I do, however, look forward to writing freely again once this is published, instead of feeling like I have to clean up and clear up so much. If you don't have any idea what I'm talking about, please be patient reading through the post as I promise to cover all the bases:) 

     By way of a brief intro, this is the story of an accident that happened at our house involving a gun, where Richard and I were both injured. The day after it happened I posted a quick update before my surgery to my Instagram and shared that to me Facebook page to simply let on that I'd injured my knee and wouldn't be able to make the A Reason To Stand conference that day (you might be smiling at the irony if you know the story already), as I'd said that I'd be speaking there and didn't want to surprise or disappoint anyone. I didn't share more details at that point because I didn't want to cause alarm before I had time to go in depth, and my medicated brain was not about to try that yet. haha After my surgery to remove the bullet and to screw some dislodged cartilage back in place, I was wheeled back into my room where Richard was waiting, only to be greeted by a whole slew of creative speculations and strong opinions on Facebook from people. It seemed they were trying to fill in the gaps (there was a 17-second blip about it on the local news released while I was in surgery) to make things as dramatic, and exciting, and as scandalous as possible. Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered at all the time and effort spent on the various fan fiction versions of what had happened , but I realized that unfortunately, I had to start writing out more details even from my hospital bed the same hour I got back to my room after surgery, because there was really no truth out there to help all my fox family understand what was happening with us.

     I went ahead and deleted the most abusive and aggressive comments (as is my and every other bloggers' privilege and prerogative) and further cleaned up my blog Facebook page by blocking a few people who weren't helping themselves or others with the garbage they were spewing everywhere. I then wrote out a more detailed post of what really happened (really not as exciting as it had been hypothesized to be) along with addressing some of the speculations that had been most popular. And now I'm going to share even more details because some people just can't get enough of this story:) I may even get crazy and include what clothing we were wearing, and what the house smelled like, etc. for those that are waiting with bated breath to furiously type their interpretation of my words.haha In all seriousness, though, I understand very clearly that you guys care about me, and I'm so grateful for you, and I'm writing this to you so as to share a scary and important day in my life that affected my family greatly, and that we've all learned a lot from.

           Friday the 3rd of March:
     Richard was anticipating a visit from his friend Trevor (nicknamed 'Chief') who lived a few hours away and who he'd worked with in nursing school. After talking for a while and catching him up on our life, they loaded up the truck with a few of our guns and some of Trevor's and headed out for an afternoon of target practice. The older two girls were in school, and after doing some chores and laundry, etc, I took the younger three and headed out for a few errands and to drop John and Lydia off at preschool. Richard texted a little later that they'd picked up some pizza on their way home, and that Ellie and Sophie were home from school and outside on the swings. On the way home I picked up John and Lydia from preschool and pulled into the driveway. Going inside I saw the two guys across from each other at the end of the dining room table(Richard on the right and Trevor on the left) surrounded by a few beat up targets, boxes of ammo, a couple different guns, pieces of handguns in front of them, dirty rags, q-tips, and various other cleaning supplies. Richard said that the older girls were still outside playing and that there was pizza warming in the oven. He said they were wrapping up and that we could eat soon. I called the girls in and the kids started climbing up onto the barstools in the kitchen for pizza.
     Here's where it gets busy, so try to keep up:) 

     I started dishing out the pizza, and walked into the dining room to give Richard a kiss on the cheek and ask more about how their afternoon had gone. I put my right foot on the bench to Richard's left maybe two feet from him, and they were both sharing bits of what they'd done. I was looking across the table at Trevor when a shot rang out (quieter than I'd thought it would be) and I felt something hit the right side of my right knee which was closest to Richard. I remember looking down and seeing a small frayed piece of my jeans by my knee and thinking 'did he shoot me with a BB gun?' because there was no immediate pain. Both men (both nurses remember) jumped up as I stepped down and leaned against the wall. I don't remember much of the dialogue between them, but I said "I can't move my leg." as Richard was telling me to take a deep breath and stay calm, etc, and Trevor cut a couple slices in my jeans to look at the bullet hole which wasn't bleeding much at all. I started feeling light-headed from shock I suppose after seeing the bullet entry point, because I still didn't feel pain in my knee at all. Richard talked with 911 while Trevor helped me sit on the bench and tied a piece of kids clothing from a laundry basket around my leg as a tourniquet to stop any potential blood flow.

     Ellie said "Mommy what happened?!" from the doorway and I snapped to attention as I realized all the kids shouldn't see what was happening. "Ellie please take all the kids upstairs and read to them." I said with a smile and as calmly as I could. "Everything's going to be fine Ellie just please go upstairs right now as fast as you can okay? You're in charge, honey." I said. Richard repeated the same thing to her as she turned back towards the kitchen, and then I remember almost immediately seeing a slew of little legs running up the stairs across the living room. Looking at the floor around me I could see big drops of blood around us and was confused because I thought I wasn't bleeding much at all, then I looked up to see Richard's left sleeve was soaked in blood and streaming onto the floor. I said "Richard you're bleeding!" and Trevor turned his attention to Richard to see what I was seeing. Trevor grabbed my red sweatshirt off the table to quickly wrap around Richard's arm and apply pressure, and I remember trying to think about what was happening and put together how we'd both been shot with the same bullet.
   
     I pulled out my phone to call for help. I called a close family friend and our conversation went something like "Hi can you come right now? I got shot and I need you to help the kids now." She said "oh my goodness!! I'm out of town but I'll call others, are you okay?!" I felt pretty fuzzy and just told her it was an accident, that it was both of us, that we'd already called 911, and she needed to send help for the kids. And she did. 
     
     Sitting on the bench and feeling mostly dizzy, I opened my phone and snapped a few quick pictures as I knew we'd want to fully take in the scene later. I also texted Ashlee from the Reason to Stand conference as Trevor wiped up some of the blood and helped Richard elevate his arm above his head. Looking back, my text says: 'Ashlee I don't think I'll be there tomorrow:( I'm fine I swear but Richard and a friend were cleaning their guns and his went off and it went through his arm and into my knee.' Her reply says: 'No way. Oh my gosh. Are you okay?' The next message I sent her was a few hours later. It was a photo I'd had a nurse take of me in my hospital gown with a bloody bandage wrapped around my knee and a weak smile. Poor girl.haha. I told the nurse that I wanted to document it because I didn't plan on doing it ever again, and she laughed. 

     Almost all at once there were police officers on the scene asking what had happened, firemen and EMT's were wrapping our wounds and there was a stretcher brought in through the front door. I kept hearing Richard asking them to help me first as my knee was wrapped and I was lifted onto the stretcher. Trevor was explaining what had happened to the officers. Several family friends came through the door too and jumped into action. Someone waved as Richard pointed them upstairs to the kids, someone else touched my shoulder and said: "We've got the kids- they're going to be fine, and so are you guys." I started to feel shooting pains in my knee as I was jostled on the stretcher and I as suppose the adrenaline was started to wear off. As I was being taken out the front door I remember being surprised and annoyed that there were camera crews in the driveway and around 15 cars and official vehicles along the road and on the lawn.

     In the ambulance, I really needed to hold Richard's hand and know that he was close. He was behind me to the right and kept reassuring me that we were going to be fine. He put his hand on my shoulder while I was given an IV and a warm blanket as I'd started to shake with the shock.  We were addressed as 'the gunshot couple' at the ED entrance and put in different rooms to be treated by different teams. Several friends came to visit us within just a short time, and Martin's sweet parents came to my room after visiting Richard and stayed for a while, then went back to see him later. It was very comforting to have them there holding my hand and hearing their reassurances that it was all going to be fine and that Richard was doing good as well. I was able to facetime him once things calmed down to talk about what had happened. It was good to see him smiling and to hear the details of his injuries and see his scans, etc, as things had moved fast enough that I wasn't even sure how much damage had been done to his arm till then. We tried to see the positives in the situation and acknowledge how blessed we felt that the children were perfectly fine, and he even cracked a few jokes which really helped lessen my fear and anxiety.

     Moving along, the on-call doctor decided that I should be admitted so he could perform surgery in the morning to remove the bullet, and Richard's surgery was put off for a couple days as they needed more time to plan the extensive work needed to repair his arm. When he accidentally fired the gun with his right hand, pointing left, the bullet had entered near his left wrist and exited nearest his left elbow, shooting diagonally through his arm and shattering his Ulna to pieces as well as leaving several fragments in his arm before sliding under my knee-cap in my right leg.

     After a few more friendly visits and treat deliveries, Rich and I had a very rough night of trying to get our pain under control, but oddly it was also a very big night of deep discussion in that little room, and connecting on a new strong level as a couple. It immediately had brought us so much closer, just as a dangerous car accident that you see could have been so much worse. It was also pretty crazy to think we were sharing pieces of the same bullet:) Richard was so upset and apologetic, but I honestly was not going to be upset about something that I couldn't change. I've never been someone to dwell on the 'what ifs' and cry over spilled milk. It happened. It was an accident. We couldn't change it. All we could do was to learn what we could from it, make the best of it, and then move forward. Overall that night and the whole situation has really strengthened our perspective on life, and helped us to really focus on our blessings even more. We saw very clearly how much worse the whole situation could have been, and priorities became very clear. 
     The next morning I had my surgery. They put a large black brace (knee immobilizer) on my leg to protect the would and keep me from bending my leg, I was given crutches, and we pick up pretty much where I started in the second paragraph of this post:)

               Catching up to today:
     Richard had his first surgery a few days later,  which was to check for nerve damage and to attach an external fixation device to his bones to ensure that they would be stable and positioned correctly. On the 14th they removed the ex-fix and inserted a metal plate the length of his forearm, piecing his Ulna back together and attaching the pieces to the plate with 15 screws and some wire. Pretty intense. There are a few pictures on his Instagram page if you're curious. These days we sit a lot and talk a lot:) We have methods down for helping me get into our high bed and into cars, etc. Richard's handling the pain much better than I am, even though his wounds are much worse. My row of stitches and the bullet hole are healing up very well, and I should be able to take the brace off after another month or so. Richard's healing process is much more extensive, but his doctor is very optimistic and proud of how well the procedures went.

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     Now that the whole story is told in immense detail, there are a few more thoughts that I feel strongly need to be said, and then as I said earlier I can't wait to move onto other posts and thoughts from my heart that I've been waiting to share lately.  
   
     Firstly, I want to say that I do have a bit of a hard time talking about what happened, because owning and using guns is a very personal and private choice, and it's the type of strong topic that I've tried to never talk about on my blog. I've chosen to refrain from subjects like religion and politics, and in this case, the use and ownership of guns, because I feel like they make many people experience strong feelings and can cause debate and often conflict (as we've seen). The goal of my blog is and always has been to try to uplift and to inspire, and conflict and arguments are not in line with that goal.  To some, this post may help you feel much more steadfast in your choice to not own or use firearms of any kind, and that's your choice, and I think that's wonderful. This accident is certainly not going to encourage anyone to go out and buy guns.haha However I live in a farming town in the country where just about everyone I know has and uses guns for hunting and protection and clearing fields, etc, and we are adults, and that is our choice. All in all, I wish I could have kept this topic from causing anyone distress, and I hope that we can all continue to respect each others choices as their own and not ours.

     Secondly, I feel that what I want to say here is mainly directed at people that do not fully understand me, or my past experiences, or the deep respect that I have for pain and loss and risk and recovery. The biggest misunderstanding from the few things I shared online previously was that I don't appear to be taking this accident seriously.
     I'm not sure the percentage of my readers that have lost a very close relative(in my case I lost my first husband 15 months after a terminal cancer diagnosis), but I speak for all of us when I say that going through that gives you a greater respect for life and safety than most. Excuse my french, but there is no way in hell that I didn't take the bullet in my leg seriously, or the blood all over the floor, or the glaring possibility that I could be picking out another casket, or the immense pain Richard and I have dealt with every day since the accident. I don't have the use of my right leg and won't for awhile. I can't bend it, I have to walk everywhere with crutches. For the first time in my life I can't hold my children. I can't play on the floor with them or jump on the trampoline. I can't drive, I can't play the piano, or stand long enough to cook or do much housework, etc, etc. 
     As hard as this is for me, Richard has it worse with his left arm wrapped up and useless, and still he's managing to take care of chores and the children because he's more mobile than I am. In addition, while we're very hopeful and optimistic about his recovery, there's the very distinct possibility that the damage to his nerves may keep him from having full use of his hand again. Bottom line, yes, we take this incredibly scary and painful accident very seriously. We fully understand the weight of what happened and the potential outcome, and always will, but we choose to take a positive attitude and to see a scary situation as a learning experience

     Third and finally, I want to reiterate that this blog and my social media platforms are very special and valuable to me, and that as the owner/writer/creator I'll continue to keep these places as uplifting and clear of contention and conflict as I can. Over the years we've built relationships here, and it's been a place of safety and empathy and relatability for many. Of learning and sharing and growing. Many of you have seen me through pregnancies and changing seasons and love and heartbreak. I've always been able to come here when I want to share something special to me, and when I feel that I need support and love, and you guys have been wonderful all along the way. Unfortunately, this situation seems to have sparked some of you into saying things that were misguided or misled by rumors that circulated about what happened and why, and I hope that always moving forward, that my words about my life will always be taken above those of people who have no interest in my well being or the well being of my family.
     I love my husband and my children, and their happiness is the most important thing in the world to me. We all need each other during the hardest time in our lives, and Richard and I are making big adjustments and sacrifices for each other. This space here was just an outlet for a couple years before it started supporting our family, but it has continued to grow as a community of support and mutual encouragement, and I've loved seeing conversations start and friendships made. Anything that takes away from the positive and uplifting atmosphere does not have a place here. That's all:)

     Thank you again and again for those that have taken the time to leave kind messages and comments of fast healing and encouragement. They are so appreciated and the prayers are so felt.

     If you've read this far, thank you for sticking around:) and I hope you have a great weekend ahead. 

76 comments:

  1. Hi Emily,
    Thanks for your post. So glad to hear that you and Richard are recovering. It's unfortunate that so many people reacted so negatively and judgementally (to the point of creating their own versions of what happened!), and that you've had to handle that negativity on top of the pain and stress of recovery. I think you've handled the whole situation with clarity, positivity, and grace - you're wonderful.

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  2. Wow Emily! I thank God you and Richard are okay and that no one else was harmed (your babies). I truly believe God (and Martin) were watching over you guys. I pray for a fast recovery for you both. God bless you and your family <3

    Bella And The City

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  3. Praying for healing and protection from outside nagativity.

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  4. First of all. I'm happy that you and Richard are on the mend. I can't imagine how scary this must have been. Secondly, you're taking a firm stand where it concerns your blog and I just want to say; good going! This is your space after all and I understand why you want to keep it uplifting and inspiring and how you choose to do so. Keep it up and best wishes to the Fox family. :)

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  5. I'm quite new to your blog and have never posted before but whilst I think everybody is entitled to their opinion on a topic, they are not entitled to judge you! I wish you and your husband a speedy (and effective) recovery! x

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  6. 'Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered at all the time and effort spent on the various fan fiction versions of what had happened'
    Haha, I love how you call this 'fan fiction'. Pfff... honestly: well done putting that aside. Keep up with that. It is NOT worth it. I've had the unfortunate experience of reading an ugly website and was (besides shocked) flabbergasted by the stuff people make up. It's crazy. Very creative. Not the good kind.

    Moving on: isn't is amazing how parents have this strength of always making sure their kids are ok?! This has surprised me multiple times. You are hurting and not feeling clear and all of a sudden your body gives you this boost of energy to make sure your children are safe.
    That is a great force!

    Sending positive thoughts all the way from the Netherlands to your home where Richard and you heal from all of this. Take care.

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  7. Emily, no one should have to read wild speculation about the state of their relationship from one incident and I'm sorry you had to read all of that.

    I know you said you don't want to go over things more but could you briefly say how the kids are coping in the aftermath. They obviously know something happened because you have limited use of your leg and Richard has a severe arm injury. They've been through so much seeing Martin become ill and sadly pass away, a new parent in the home and now this all within such a short space of time. The kids are a big part of your blog so I hope it's not inappropriate to ask this questions.

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  8. So glad y'all are on the mend! Lemons to lemonade seems a little light-hearted but I know what you mean about big scary moments knitting you closer together. It sounds like your friends​ and family really know how to rally in a crisis. That kind of support is hard to come by. I feel a bit like a turd for admitting this, but the conference being called A Reason To Stand gave me quite the little giggle. Be well!

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  9. Very sorry to hear of your accident - I looked at his instagram photos, wow, that's incredible damage, may you both heal completely and be able to move on from this with renewed strength. We have guns in our house too - while you have obviously been judged and criticized, I don't wish to do that. If I may, can I suggest that you tell your readers what you would do differently now, what was done incorrectly so that others can learn from the mistake. Was it believed the gun was not loaded? Was a safety broken, etc.

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  10. I read all this and think your clear and direct and respectful way of telling YOUR story is a breath of fresh air. I rarely comment, but i have read and prayed for your family since you found out about Martin's cancer, and I hope your healing is speedy and complete! You have much grace and dignity that perhaps is denied as "lightheartedness" from people who just troll...But keep courage, dear heart. L❤ve From Canada.

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  11. Wow. You are an absolutely beautiful writer and handled this so gracefully. I am so sorry this accident happened to both of you, but you took a scary thing and saw the light in it - something that we should all be trying to do throughout our days. You are so strong and such a good mother and wife and even though I don't really know you, I am so proud of how maturely you handled this situation! Praying for a quick recovery for both of you and I hope you have a great weekend <3

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  12. I love your little family and am so happy that Richard is a part of it. I'm glad you are both on the mend. I hope you will both be pain free soon as well. Thanks for sharing the story in nitty gritty detail. I like when people tell stories that way. I'm sad that the story is not a happy one but I'm happy that you have used this accident to draw you closer together rather than put a rift in your marriage/family. I'm inspired by the way you rise above the trolls and stay positive.

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  13. Very nicely put, hopefully this will squash any in correct information.
    I hope you guys heal well and fast.
    Donna

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  14. Emily, thank you for sharing details about your life. I am so sorry to hear of the negativity this has sparked. My father-in-law had a similar accident back in the 1960's when he was cleaning his gun and blew off his right ring finger. We are all adults and you and your family are very brave for putting your lives out there, for all to see. I'm praying for you, Richard, and your babies and for healing for you all.

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  15. Made me cry just picturing how scary it must have been. Looking forward to more of your usual inspiring posts, even if there is plenty of real life mixed in. Get well soon!

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  16. I was shocked and terrified for you and your family when I saw what had happened. I couldn't believe it. My husband and myself are gun owners as well and although we are very careful, there are things that can happen sometimes that we just cannot control and that is okay. Accidents are inevitable in this life and can happen to even the most cautious people, things will happen that we wish hadn't, but the best thing that anyone can do is be positive and move on. I have thought about you all every day since your accident and I am sending good vibes for a full and fast recovery for you both. Rest up and try not let the nasty, angry people out there get you down. You two are beautiful and wonderful people who deserve the best! Much love!

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  17. You guys are wonderful. Thanks for the positive vibes and always having a smile on your face. You truly have been through so much and I'm so glad you have your sweet kiddos and amazing husband to share trials, triumphs, tears, happiness, and everything with them. family is what counts most. Sending good vibes and prayers for a speedy recovery and a calm mind to all of you. Much love ❤

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  18. I had no idea what happened to ya'll except for there was an accident. I am glad to read that you both are on the mend. I'm praying for complete healing. And I want to say that it is terrible that you have had to deal with mean people and their mean comments and that you had to explain what happened! People really don't have lives. We are gun owners and are happy for those who choose to have guns and happy for those who choose not to. It's our right as citizens.

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  19. Glad to hear that you are both okay. That's the most important thing!

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  20. Emily, I'm so sorry that happened to you and to Richard. I can't imagine how painful and scary that has been for all of you. As for the guns, I totally understand. Our family has owned guns ever since my husband and I married; that's a choice each person makes and nobody else's business.

    I'm praying for you and for Richard and your little kiddies, for peace and healing and comfort for all of you. God bless you.

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  21. I hope you both heal quickly. Isn't it great that you can come closer as a team and strengthen your relationship during this unfortunate experience? May God Bless you both and your kiddos too!

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  22. As I posted earlier, I'm sure hoping your beautiful family has a really unexciting and slow year ahead of you since by golly, I'm sure you need it! I hope you and yours receive the peace and healing you need, and that this trial continues to strengthen your bonds of love and your faith. Sometimes we'll never know why hard things happen, but if we take the kind of attitude that you take towards them, there is ALWAYS something positive that can be learned from the experience. Sending prayers your way!

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  23. I'm so sorry to hear about your accident! I will be praying for a quick recovery for both of you.

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  24. Thank you so much for being so beautifully open in this post. Sending prayers up for your family!

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  25. OH my goodness, so scary. Many prayers for fast healing and that he regains full use of his arm.

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  26. Emily you are incredible! Not being able to hold your babies is so hard as a mother. I went through something similar recently, it's heartbreaking not being able to hold them when they are scared, tired, etc. You are a strong woman and you'll make it through this. Sending love and prayers!!

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  27. Thank you for the update! I appreciate your clarification on gun ownership being a personal choice. And honestly? I would be taking it about the same way as you. I'm sitting at Primary Childrens right now, next to my 4 year old sleeping in his bed, with a recent diagnosis of cancer.

    There are more crazy things in life to get serious over.

    Continue to love and be close to your husband! Thank you

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  28. I have admire you so much! I just don't understand why someone would choose to start a rumor or say something negative instead of asking if you're okay or how they can help (hypothetical example).

    After losing my dad last year, my view of life is SO different than it used to be. Life isn't always easy, and we do our best to try but things happen, and we get to choose how it impacts our lives. I feel like you two handled the situation better than I probably would have and I'm seriously so glad that you two are doing well, that your children are okay and that you're choosing to be positive from here on out.

    I'm a newish follower to your blog but it has most definitely become one of my favorites to read! Prayers for you guys.

    xoxo

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  29. So sorry to hear what you and Richard went through, and also sorry that you were attacked with judgements during a painful/scary time for you all. So glad to read that you're on the mend. Prayers to you and your beautiful family.

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  30. Wow! I was wondering what had happened when I read your post the other day! Thank you for filling in the details. The situation could have been so much worse (not that the injuries you both have aren't bad enough!) Will be praying for you both for a full recovery.

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  31. Praying for full healing for both of you & use of your limbs. Thank you for sharing- this blog is still one of the most beautiful places on the Internet & so grateful for it! <3 Xoxo

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  32. Wow, what a crazy story! I respect you for taking the time to write out such a traumatic incident for the whole world (or at least the whole blogging world) to read. I have no doubt that you are taking it all seriously...how could you not? You've had to have surgery and I'm sure you've been in immense pain. I think a lot of people have difficulty seeing that you can take something seriously and understand it's gravity while still doing your best to be positive. Sending lots of virtual love to your family and hoping you and Richard heal quickly (: Thanks for sharing your heart!

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  33. Beautifully said! Many blessings your way :)

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  34. I'm sorry to hear about your accident and wish you and Richard both a speedy recovery. It sounds like you have a close group of family and friends to help and that's always a great blessing. I love reading your blog. Your ability to maintain a positive outlook, even during the darkest of times, is inspiring. God bless!

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  35. Hope y'all have a quick recovery from everything, external and internal! xx

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  36. Thank you for your honesty and firm stand. I would add to the commenters thinking you treated this "too lightly" that while it is a traumatic and intense event, it is by no means sensational. Yes, for many if not most of us having paramedics in our home, taking ambulance rides, seeing loved ones suffer pain, having unexpected medical issues, and having surgery would be sensational and something we'd want to go on and on and on about. But for Emily, these things are not new. She has spent days of her life in hospitals - I'm suspecting that medical procedures are no shock to those who have traveled with someone down the cancer road - and while obviously (as she has said) there is great pain involved, Emily's commitment to positivity AND her vast experience dealing with far less than ideal, painful, hospital-trip-requiring situations combine to give her this calm approach so many of you are taking so personally. Remember, she spent many trips to ER with Martin. While this recent incident was less than ideal to say the least, her calm approach is the result of long experience in the world of trauma...not coldness, relationship issues, or lack of caring. Emily, you're amazing!

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  37. Such a difficult story to tell, and you have written it so well! I'm sending you both all my best wishes for your healing and happiness. I feel especially sorry for Richard who seems to be feeling most of the burden of what happened. I'm someone who is too afraid of guns to have any in the house, but I live in a very ordinary suburb where guns aren't a part of everyday life. I learned to shoot in the military. God bless you and the precious children.

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  38. Thank you so much for sharing! I like a few other readers had no idea what had actually happened until reading this post (I'm not really on fb). First off, let me say that I'm so so happy that everyone is ok and I will be praying for a speedy recovery for you and your husband! Second, I can't imagine you (or anyone for that matter) not taking this seriously. I'm not sure what was said to you, but I'm not sure how people expected you to convey to them that you were taking it seriously. It seems so silly, perhaps you taking it seriously looks to the outside world as you checking out for a few days or whatever. But who knows, you can't please everyone! And thirdly, as someone else mentioned, I too would love to know what you would have done differently or what you will be doing differently in the future (if anything). You mentioned that this was a learning experience for you and I would love to know what your takeaways were. If I missed it in another post, forgive me, but I would love to maybe know from Richards point of view what happened (i.e. Didn't know it was loaded, gripped it incorrectly, etc.). And lastly, you said that you're never one to dwell on the "what ifs" but sometimes what ifs can be helpful in planning for a few different scenarios such as: what if we clean the guns inside and one accidentally goes off, what should we be sure of just in case - i.e. no kids in the house when guns are cleaned or something like that. Just a thought that I think could be helpful for everyone because it's not just guns in the house it's staircases with toddlers or pools with kids who can't swim or stove tops or knives, I mean the list is endless. But again I'm so happy that everyone is ok :-)

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  39. Your outlook on life and experiences is so refreshing and encouraging! Keep being true to you and moving forward! And hey..your life is certainly not dull :)

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  40. Blessings and prayers of healing coming your way! I'm glad you are all ok!

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  41. Hi Dear,
    Your honesty and positivity are always so wonderful. Glad to hear that things are moving in a positive direction with healing from this terrifying event. Hope both of you continue to feel better, and also continue to spread love and kindness into the world.

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  42. Your words are always so eloquent! Praying for a speedy recovery for you and Richard! Thank you for always being a force of positive and goodness in this world we live in! Your courage and strength in all you do and have over came is contagious! 😘😘

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  43. Hey Emily- I read this to my husband and he said he heard about XDS having a malfunction that would make that happen. I'm sorry to hear about all of this and hope you both make a speedy and uneventful recovery.

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  44. So, so glad you all are okay. Praying for you as you balance healing with loving on your kiddos. It is so ridiculous that people get crazy and mean over things they don't really understand. But I guess it weeded out those that didn't really understand your heart anyways! As a new blogger, I can only hope that someday I have a tribe as loyal as yours someday. Prayers and hugs to you all!

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  45. So, so glad you all are okay. Praying for you as you balance healing with loving on your kiddos. It is so ridiculous that people get crazy and mean over things they don't really understand. But I guess it weeded out those that didn't really understand your heart anyways! As a new blogger, I can only hope that someday I have a tribe as loyal as yours someday. Prayers and hugs to you all!

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  46. You and your beautiful family have been in my prayers for several years, since before Martin passed away. I'm so happy that you found love again, and I am praying for you and Richard as you recover. Much love from South Carolina!

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  47. So glad you two are ok. You're such an example. ❤❤

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  48. You guys are SO inspiring and I love your personality - the rawness of your blog - and your 'no what ifs' attitude. Lord God, provide good and fruitful healing for Emily and Richard - may their family and themselves know they are loved, protected and all in your never ending love and hands. Thanks for never taking a day off from us. Amen!

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  49. Thank you for sharing. It is a good reminder on how even the most experienced gun owners can have accidents and that to be absolutely sure that children aren't close by when handling guns.

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  50. Keep it positive lovely lady... your outlook is inspiring. Thankful you are both on the mend and that the children were safe through it all. Bless your little Ellie... what a little star she is x

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  51. Thinking of you guys!
    Thanks for being open and honest

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  52. Oh my Emily. I am so sorry that happened, but I am so grateful that you guys are okay! God was definitely watching over you and your family. Saying prayers for quick healing for you both!

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  53. You have expressed your heart beautifully. So much hate is intentional these days, I wonder when we will get to the place where our hearts and heads can wrap around the fact that an accident is an accident. They happen, we learn, we feel grace and gratitude and we move forward. Our family will add you and yours to our prayers. Happy healing TOGETHER. ❤

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  54. I'm just happy to hear that you are both going to be okay. Please continue to stay positive, and get as much rest as you can while you're healing.

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  55. I'm thankful that you're safe. For me, you didn't need to explain. Get well and cherish your family! I pray for a speedy recovery for you and your family.

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  56. Hi, how are u? I havent been following u that long, i found ur page on instragram in the end of Martin battle with cancer, ur posts have brought me so many tears, tears for u and ur family for what u been thru, but also tears to realize that what happen to ur family can really
    happen to any of us. After the tragedy you, Martins family, ur family and your little ones went thru, YOU were able to find happiness, u were able to help ur kids that missed their dad so much to see that they are loved. U shared ur life with us, even ur marriage after only few months after Martin passed. I ENVY you, first because u were very courageous to share with everyone even knowing that would be pp judging u and ur decision here but also and more important because u found true,real love again, u found a man that love u and ur kids with all his heart. For me thats the only thing thing that is worth envying someone: LOVE.
    I wish u and ur family all the love and hapiness in the world!!!❤

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  57. Hi, how are u? I havent been following u that long, i found ur page on instragram in the end of Martin battle with cancer, ur posts have brought me so many tears, tears for u and ur family for what u been thru, but also tears to realize that what happen to ur family can really
    happen to any of us. After the tragedy you, Martins family, ur family and your little ones went thru, YOU were able to find happiness, u were able to help ur kids that missed their dad so much to see that they are loved. U shared ur life with us, even ur marriage after only few months after Martin passed. I ENVY you, first because u were very courageous to share with everyone even knowing that would be pp judging u and ur decision here but also and more important because u found true,real love again, u found a man that love u and ur kids with all his heart. For me thats the only thing thing that is worth envying someone: LOVE.
    I wish u and ur family all the love and hapiness in the world!!!❤

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  58. Oh my goodness, Emily, I am so sorry! Thank you so much for sharing as I am sure I am not the only one who was wondering what had happened! I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers and am so glad to hear you are both on the mend!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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  59. I feel you more than you know. My husband had an accident while taking his gun apart. The bullet went in right above his knee and went clean through his leg. It all happened so quickly. We don't talk about it much and there are a lot of people who feel like they need to place judgement, but accidents are called accidents for a reason. We don't plan for and hope they will happen. It has been 6 years and it's easy for us now to see the Lord's hand in what happened. I won't go into detail, but we definitely had angels surrounding us that day. We have our own little miracle that we get to share when we feel the spirit prompting us to. I wish all the best to you and your family. I pray that the two of you heal well and never forget the lessons learned.

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  60. Honest, a real question - as a piano player myself, why can't you play right now? Is it too tiring to sit at the keys with one leg immobilized?

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  61. Happy you are mending. Sorry that on top of the accident you have to deal with so much crap. Praying for blessings on your family.

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  62. Keep being you. You're strong with a good head on your shoulders and even though I don't know you personally, no one should ever doubt you or question your regard for safety in your family. :)

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  63. Emily, thank you for being so kind and patient in clarifying so many details. It is frustrating that you feel the need to go into such detail. I had a younger brother who died in a similar accident - a gun misfired suddenly when the safety was on. There were witnesses and an investigation and I remember how frustrating it was for my parents to have to hash out the details again and again before the insurance agency finally looked at the evidence and concluded once and for all it was not a suicide, but an actual legitimate accident.

    We were blessed to be surrounded by friends, loved ones, and family who knew my brother and were so sensitive and supportive during the whole trial. I'm thankful you likewise have supportive family members and friends. But I am sad that so many have misconstrued these circumstances into something they are not - like it's any of our business in the first place! Thank you for our patience and grace through all of this. You truly are an inspiration.

    I praise and thank God you are all safe and that the injuries were not worse!

    Dani xoxo
    a vapor in the wind

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  64. Sweet Emily,

    I'm so sorry you're both having to deal with this and also with the negativity. Know that my prayers are with you both and with your family. Keep hangin' tough, Momma.

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  65. Holy cow girl, you just continue to be amazing and I'm so impressed with you and am praying for both of ya and your sweet children!

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  66. So glad you both are ok, wishing you a speedy recovery! Lots of love! =)

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  67. Such a scary thing to happen, but I love that you grew even closer through it. It's sad you have to defend yourself against those crazy fans but I love how honest you are in your posts. Real life. It's hard. It would be hard to have everyone know certain things about your personal life, and I can't even imagine. Hoping you both have good recoveries! Your family is so cute and you deserve all the blessings.

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  68. I just wanted to comment that I completely understand taking a lighthearted/comedic stance in this situation. Three years ago I had a pulmonary embolism which is rare in young people (I was 29) and can OFTEN be fatal. I was completely fine but I dealt with the scariness of a "brush with death" with jokes and comedy. It's how I dealt with it. We all handle things differently and I think you did it with grace. ��

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  69. Oh my goodness, Emily I am just so thankful you and Richard are doing well. When I saw your Instagram post, I immediately began praying for your sweet family. You all have been through SO much, beyond anything I can understand and relate with, but just know how much your true readers love you guys, and will always stand by you! <3 Wish there was more I could do, other than send a little comment your way! xoxo.
    http://abeautifulheart07.blogspot.com/2017/03/3-coffee-table-reads.html

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  70. I completely understand the judgement you have been receiving. My son was in an ATV accident a year ago and fractured his femur in a pretty bad way. It was kids driving and messing around and he was ran over. People just can't wrap their heads around accidents do happen, to everyone. I wish you both the best and understand your long recovery road.

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  71. My husband was accidentally shot the day after Thanksgiving, his entire family was there as well as our children. Hardest thing we've ever had to overcome! Saying prayers for you & your family for sure!! If you ever want to talk, I'm here...not many truly understand! ~Alicia

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  72. Thank you for sharing the whole story Emily! Best wishes on a full recovery for you and Richard! - Amanda

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  73. Loved your post! 'Accidents happen' and I'm so sorry people responded that way specially when that was the last thing you and your sweet family needed during that time. Praying for you and Richard's recovery! And so glad ultimately everyone was okay. Xo

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  74. First off, I am so glad that you both are okay and recovering. Second, how scary! I hope that you both have a full recovery ♥

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  75. Well said. Beautifully written. I'm so thankful that you are all okay.

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