Wednesday, March 26

What I Wore // a bit on being anchored + dealing with negativity

Hey friends! Spring has officially sprung here with the weather sticking around in the 60's. Time to break out my favorite wedges, my baggy cotton shirts, and of course this new panama hat that screams sunshine to me. 
The last few days have been a bit of a whirlwind since getting back from the competition. We promised that we'd use this week off from the gym to go to bed earlier, sleep in, eat fun treats, and Spring clean the house, all of which are going pretty well! It's also been awesome to read the trillions of amazingly uplifting and encouraging comments and messages from so many of you in support of my progress. It's made it so much easier to get past my insecurities and be a little braver in putting myself out there. I can't thank you enough really, I can't:)
I was a little surprised, but not entirely taken aback by a few comments from others who thought I'd like to know their opinions about my being 'too skinny' or 'extreme' in my journey towards better health. Some people seemed to think that was all they were going to see from me from now on, some didn't understand how much food I am actually eating (the 'she needs a cheeseburger' comments made me laugh the most) some said they liked me better before, some people didn't realize I was doing the competition at all I think since I've not gone crazy turning this into a fitness blog or something and so weren't prepared for the whole two pictures I posted from the competition. I understand that:) still though, come on guys.
Ever since I was little I've loved anchors for the simple symbolism that they've had for me, but especially now as I reach so many people with this blog. It may be kindof cheesy, but they remind me that being 'anchored' to truth, to what's right, to my family, to who I am, that there's nothing people can say or do to make me feel confused or alone, because I have that strong hold keeping me from getting 'lost in the storm', as it were. Everyone who knows who they are and has any shred of confidence is anchored to something, something giving them their identity, their purpose.  
This is not a post against 'the haters' or anything, I guess it's maybe a little note to those that've asked how to deal with negativity. My straight answer is: don't! Whenever it comes it'll be from people that are confused or that misunderstand, or from people that simply woke up with a bad attitude and you're a safe target for their frustrations because there's no accountability. To be bloggers at all we understand that from the get-go we are putting ourselves out there for strangers. We hope that we can make a positive difference, but it can potentially come with a cost. For the most part I like to think the blog world is an accepting and understanding place, but the Internet as a whole is a reflection of humanity, and you'll meet hurtful people online just as you'll meet crazy drivers on the road. Don't take it personally, don't let it effect you. Hold onto your anchor and be as positive about it as you can, and most importantly, move on:)
panama hat - c/o tommy bahama // anchor ring and necklace - c/o wild butterfly boutique // shirt - c/o sugar love boutique // jeans - ross (brand) // wedges - c/o kiki la' rue

I hope that came across in a clear way, and also that I didn't try to accomplish too much with one post.haha I'd love to hear any words you'd like to share about how you deal with negativity or experiences you've had in the past, or simply how your day is going so far! I think I'll have to share a post soon with some favorite messages I've received from you my amazing readers, because your words are so strong and positive, everyone would benefit from reading them! 
Thanks so much for reading today, oh and don't forget that you can receive 25%off at Wild Butterfly Boutique with the code "FF25" at checkout. Have a great day friends!
xo, Emily 


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57 comments:

  1. Ignore the negativity, you look amazing girlfriend! I had a baby 8 months ago and you are a huge inspiration to me! I would love it if you could message me your workout regime :)

    Makeover With Aspen

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  2. Great post! Thanks for the positive perspective!

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  3. I'm sure people were caught off guard when you went all fitness on them but who cares! It's your blog, you're the editor and you get to post whatever you want.
    I agree with your advice to not do anything about the negativity, ignore it. They will move on, or they'll come around. Your posts are inspirational I'm sure you broke into a new market with the fitness posts too. ;)
    Happy blogging!!

    http://www.justmeaghan.com

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  4. I think you look amazing! I think it is best to ignore negativity -Hanna Lei

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  5. Such great wisdom girl! I think you have a great perspective... just hold on to your truth and ignore the negativity. :)

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  6. Yeah seriously, I get exactly what you mean. Some jerks like to leave snide comments on my blog sometimes, and I just have decided to delete them because I did nothing to attract such rudeness or mean-spirited sarcasm. I wish I could just say to those people, "Give me a break, you have nothing better to do than judge my opinions which I casually share on my personal blog?" Those people should just not read it if "offends" them so much. I don't write for that kind of person, that's for sure. Anyway, ugh, rant over but this post helped a lot because someone just left a mean comment for me today and it was totally unnecessary.

    Also, you're gorgeous and just perfect! I honestly think skinny is fine, curvy is fine, normal is fine, round is fine! Those negative people may be operating under the idea that they aren't "jealous" of you or whatever, but when someone takes the time to check out a person's lifestyle and whatnot, they aren't doing it just for kicks. Yay for being positive! You are awesome, Emily:)

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  7. It's such a shame that you're getting some negative remarks on such an uplifting challenge. Personally, after I read your post, I went straight-away and joined a gym. I also eagerly awaiting the day you'll share your workout regime but more so all the tremendously inspiring posts you compile for us. It cannot be easy to have your personal life and decisions public to all and I believe I speak for the masses when I say we truly appreciate it!

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  8. Great advice Em. I've personally always struggled with not being able to deal well with negativity. I often take things far too personally. Now that I've just started a new blog, I'll try to be prepared for the occasional negativity that will inevitably come with the territory. Thanks for being such a great inspiration as always.

    Amanda

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  9. It's such a shame that you got some negative feedback on such an uplifting challenge. Personally, after I read your post, I went straight-away and joined a gym (definitely excited about seeing a fitness routine post!). It cannot be easy having your personal life and decisions public for all and I'm certain I speak for the masses when I say we really appreciate it.

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  10. I am amazed by your progress and inspired to recommit to my fitness goals by your journey! Please don't listen to these judgmental people! Apparently their mother did not go over the whole "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. " Thank you for sharing your journey and good luck with your competition. I am sure you will smash it! :)

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  11. I love your blog and as I fit mama I really admired your ability to compete. I'm glad you took a week of for fun and treats. Life is a about balance and you seem to do it well. I always look forward to your posts.

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  12. I guess I must have missed a post since you posted the super picture of yourself before the competitions because I haven't heard anymore about it. I was expecting to see you with a winners ribbon or medal or whatever they give you! You looked so great and you've worked so hard, I hope things went well for you and your husband! Please share some details when you get time.

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  13. I think you are such an inspiration to everyone, i dont usually comment but this post make me wanna do it, I dont have any kids yet but I've had weight struggles for my entire life and I am constantly working, so dont hear any of those people wanting to let you down you look stunning and you are doing such a great work inspiring others (specially new moms), the best is always be true to yourself and love yourself for who you are.. keep going with the good work.. not just the fitness but with your family...

    Greetings from Mexico! Lore =)

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  14. I hate that with so much positivity and strength you have just mean people that want to bring you down and rain on your parade! So glad you took those types of negativity and let them roll off your back! Your great beautiful and motivating so me and so many others!!! Keep up the great work

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  15. Your so motivating and inspiring to me and so many others I hate that people try to rain on your parade but so glad you let them roll off your back! Your an amazing inspiration and I appreciate your openness and honesty.

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  16. I have told you this before, but I'll say it again because I don't think you can hear positivity too much. You are absolutely incredible! You are beautiful and wonder woman from an outsider looking in. I'm so proud of you and all that you accomplished with your goals. Haters gonna hate ;) Only because they can't stand seeing others shine with positivity and happiness. Hugging you :)

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  17. I know for some people, it can be hard to read some blogs or certain posts because it points out how far you are from what you want to be. For example, I am amazed at your physique, but then feel bad about my own because pregnancy has not been kind to me. I have a severe diastasis, very stretched skin, and half of my babies were born via c-section, so no matter how hard I work (and in many ways I can't even work at it as it's not safe with a diastasis), my stomach is gross to me, and so I feel bad about it. Or the fact that you seem to accomplish so much more (ie: your blog, always looking great, attending conferences when a baby is only a couple months old - how is that possible? I feel like I haven't left my house alone for years!) than I am able to can frustrate me. Blogs should be something we turn to for inspiration, but it is a fine line to it becoming a comparison game where you come away from having read something that should have inspired you, and instead you are struggling to be ok with where you're at. Sometimes it's hard to think of something nice to say because you're feeling so bad about yourself. Not excusing mean-ness by any means, but just remember that those negative things come from their own hurts and struggles and failures. If people are negative to me, I am trying to remember compassion first of all, because I don't know what hurts are making them lash out. This is very rambling - I hope I made sense. I do love your anchors! What a great reminder.

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    Replies
    1. I have a diastasis too, BJ. It's pretty hard on the self-esteem!

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  18. Your competition photos were so inspirational! I loved it when you started posting fitness stuff! I started following your blog because I adore your style and your hair tips, but you also come across as such a well rounded person. I like that you have so may interests that you share with us all.

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  19. I know what you mean about how hard it can be to ignore those things people say, but I just try and tell myself that only I know the truth, and that those kinds of people probably criticize most people they meet. Way to go, and I was so inspired by the work you did and your amazing results!

    And I love what you are wearing in this! I would wear that kind of outfit all the time!

    Lovin' Lee Life

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  20. It sucks that people feel the need to pooh-pooh someone they've never met, especially for trying to be healthy and embrace their body! I love your positive attitude and the symbolism of anchors.

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  21. I actually thought it was really cool that you did that competition! What a fun way to stay motivated to be in shape.
    I just think a lot of people don't realize that there are SO many body types out there, and just because you have a thin frame doesn't mean you're not healthy!
    We need to stop bringing each other down so much and start being encouraging instead! Your "move on" attitude is great, and as hard as it can be to let mean comments roll off your back... it's really the best thing to do.
    Thank you for being open about your experiences with negativity, because we all encounter it from time to time, and it's good to know that others have to endure it too!

    -Janelle
    www.janelleinreallife.com

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  22. Way to stick to what you believe! That's incredibly brave! I love anchors too :) Really anything that reminds me of the ocean.

    http://anchoredinlight.blogspot.com/

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  23. You are beautiful, inside and out! And you hit the nail on the head about being true to yourself! That is what matters! Life is too short to be judgmental, so let's forget the negativity. Nothing but positive notes and vibes coming your way from this reader. :-)

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  24. How did the competition go? Your results from all of your hard work are awesome, so I'm hoping you did well :) And good for you for being able to shrug off any negativity thrown your way!

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  25. The people who said those mean things couldn't be more wrong. You are a incredible, gorgeous, inspiring woman. And I applaud you for all you've accomplished! God bless you! :-)

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  26. Your hair is GORGEOUS!

    http://jenessasheffield.com/

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  27. I am usually one of those quiet "lurking" readers but this post just made me come out of my shell! I think that everything you have accomplished is pretty damn awesome, it's definitely inspired me to make a few changes in my life! There's always going to be haters unfortunately but I really like the way you dealt with them in this post. All we can do is put the truth out there... and if ppl don't like it and wanna attack you for it well... I think it's safe to say that those ppl weren't worth your time in the first place :-)

    Write on sista! I'm loving the fitness posts, actually i'm just loving the everything posts :-D

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  28. I love this post! You are such an inspiration and have given me some of the motivation I've gotten recently to get back on being healthy. You look great and you don't look "too skinny" you look toned and healthy!

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  29. Super cute photos! Love the whole outfit! On a side note, haters gonna hate...So just do you and rock on! xoxo

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  30. You're not 'too skinny'! You look athletic and healthy. I think you're amazing for getting back into shape so soon after having your babies - and it's clear you work hard at it.

    I bet some of the 'haters' are just jealous types who probably think they're 'curvy' when in fact they're obese. Best ignored!

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  31. Seriously, I don't get the people (ahm, trolls) who comment in a mean or negative manner. Why would anyone waste time and energy on that?
    I mean, if you don't like what you're reading or seeing - stop following the blog!

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  32. Firstly, I love your outfit.
    Secondly, GOOD for you for being you. The end. :)
    Thirdly, I know this isn't going to turn into a fitness blog, but I'd like to know how you train and what's been working for you...

    :)

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  33. It is NEVER OKAY to criticize how a woman looks. Just NEVER OKAY. I have a diastasis and am sometimes asked if I'm pregnant. My son is 20 MONTHS! That is a question that is never okay to ask. Just saying...people need to get a little tact. I am not a fitness person in the slightest and not about to get up at 5 or 6 am to go to the gym. But I think it's awesome that you do these sports challenges without losing your soft femininity.

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  34. I rarely comment on anything-ever. I think you are awesome for doing the competition. You look amazing after having so many kids and I'm sure it's definitely a confidence boost. I would love to do that just to cross that off my bucket list. I seriously don't know how you make the time. Suggestions are welcome. :-)

    As a naturally thin and petite person I hate hearing comments about how I suck to have two kids, one four months, and weight less than 110. Anyone of my family and friends knows I have always eaten a ton. I love did and I'm a great cook. I prefer healthier options, but I don't deprive my self. I hate setting things stating, "real women have curves." There are women of all shapes and sizes! Because i don't have the body of Kim Kardashian doesn't make me less of a woman. Shoot, I wish I had more boobs and booty, haha, but it isn't in the cards for me. I think curvy girls are beautiful, but what's wrong with the skinny ones? As long as I don't see you looking like a skeleton I say, keep on keeping on.

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  35. I'm so sorry that you had to deal with so much negativity regarding such a huge accomplishment in your life :-(. For the record, you're beautiful inside and out, and no matter what they say the only reason they put you down is out of jealousy. You are in inspiration, and I wish I had half as much drive as you do.

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  36. Good for you for posting this and taking the high road. I think at the end of the day, those who publicize their negative opinions have issues with themselves which stinks...but it does happen. I think women need to empower each other more rather than cutting each other down. Being a lady is hard enough as it is right? :) Bravo to you for competing and putting yourself out there!
    Linh
    http://abeautifulrawr.com

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  37. super cute! I love following your blog & your photos!
    http://kristinnleighh.blogspot.com/

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  38. Pretty!!

    www.verasawicki.com

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  39. Totally ignoring what you just said for a second to say, I LOVE your hair, absolutely love it. And negative people...boo to them, why do they need to bring someone down just to make themselves feel better? And if they were genuinely concerned, they should email you personally, not blast it for everyone to see, IMO.

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  40. love the anchor necklace, and i have been looking for an affordable option! thanks for the code, though it basically just covered shipping ;-)
    i do not think you are too skinny, just athletic and muscular. no matter what, people will look down on you or envy you, and i think you are handling it very well.
    i'm glad my blog isn't that big, because i'm a super insecure person. thanks for the post about dealing with negativity though :-)

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  41. This post couldn't have come at a better time. Thank you for sharing how to anchor yourself, I'm going to need this for next few months.

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  42. I've come to realize that people are going to be negative no matter what. I try to let go of anything that weighs me down instead of keeping all of that negativity on my shoulders...so I guess my symbol would be more of a balloon than an anchor :) I do love the anchor symbolism though. great post!
    Rebecca @ tr[i]b[e]cca

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  43. Great message. I love the thing about the anchor and don't find it cheesy at all. :) The outfit is also lovely. Thanks for sharing! -Alexandra

    Simply Alexandra: My Favorite Things

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  44. Very well said! I love reading that well known bloggers are still anchored. Your an inspiration Emily!
    Jordyn
    Pretty Lovely

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  45. Ok, I found you through Alycia's blog. You are beautiful!! And I loooove your anchor necklace! I love the symbolism you have for anchors too. I have a print framed in my boys room that says, "A ship in it's harbor is safe, but that's not what ships were built for." And there is an anchor at the bottom. I love it. So glad I found your blog. I'm excited to follow you on instagram and do this fitness journey with you these next two months!

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  46. You truly are an inspiration for so many - including myself.. After seeing your pictures and encouraging words, I started a health/fitness plan to get back to the body shape I am most happy with! IGNORE the haters, unfortunately they're everywhere! Just keep being the fabulous person you are!!

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  47. This is amazing! I absolutely love your outfits and this advice is extremely true.Your blog is phenomenal!

    http://big-beautiful-blue-eyes.blogspot.ca/

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  48. Love this post. Positive thinking is huge. You go, girl!

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  49. So happy for you that you are letting this roll off your back! I am a new reader & LOVE your blog. I am sure you have a lot more people that are for you than against you! So brave of you to do that competition! You go girl!

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  50. You're very inspirational to me and I love your hat :) lol Seriously, your blog is something that I look forward to because it always comes from a positive perspective! Very refreshing!

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  51. You've inspired me in so many ways that I want to be more like you. For everything you've accomplished; your marriage, kids, your blog & fitness routine, how do you find the time?! I'm just amazed how you juggle all of it while making it look effortless. & to top it all off you're gorgeous! You're right to not listen to what the nay-sayers say, you're better than that & they don't deserve your time. I love anchors too & you've explained it so well that I couldn't put it into words before. Thank you for inspiring me and I look forward to your new posts everyday!

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  52. I think you are beautiful, Emily. And I think you have handled the negativity so well. It is so strange to me when people like to add their advice in when they don't even know what is truly going on and what is really your life.

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  53. I agree...there is no reason to even acknowledge negativity. It comes from ignorance. I love the quote that goes something like "Another person's opinion of me is none of my business."

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  54. very late in this comment, BUT had to say - you are beautiful. I don't understand why people think being "toned" and achieving difficult goals means there's something wrong with you! it means you did something most people are AFRAID of, and they are more than likely reacting out of fear (if not jealousy). you are beautiful, you rocked your competition. thank you for your constant inspiration + positive outlook. and good for you for not letting any haters get you down <3

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  55. People who know nothing about fitness and the kind of commitment it takes to enter one of those competitions are always negative towards people who DO understand. They also dont understand the kinds and amounts of food that you have to put into your body to build the muscle you need to actually enter one of those comps. I say ignore and keep going. you look amazing and the fact that you've been able to muster the dedication it takes to enter a body comp with 4 small children is amazing!

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